**A Chance of Sunshine...**<琴の私密日记> <style type="text/css"> body { font-family:Arial; font-size:11px; scrollbar-face-color: #E7E7E7; scrollbar-highlight-color: #FFFFFF; scrollbar-shadow-color: #EFEFEF; scrollbar-3dlight-color: #EFEFEF; scrollbar-arrow-color: #000000; scrollbar-track-color: #E7E7E7; scrollbar-darkshadow-color: #E7E7E7; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:normal } a:link { text-decoration:none; color:#666666; font-weight:bold; } a:visited { text-decoration:none; color:#999999; font-weight:bold; } a:hover { color: #E7E7E7; text-decoration:none; background: #999999; cursor: crosshair; } </style> <meta name='google-adsense-platform-account' content='ca-host-pub-1556223355139109'/> <meta name='google-adsense-platform-domain' content='blogspot.com'/> <style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head> <body bgcolor=white><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/27825234?origin\x3dhttp://simiriji.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script> <img style="position:absolute; top:-16; left:0" src="http://ourworld.cs.com/yamroll89/pic1.jpg" width="1024" height="768"> </font> <div style="position: absolute;overflow: auto;left:30; top:210; width:350; height:500; filter: Alpha(Opacity=60, FinishOpacity=100);background-color: ffffff"> <div class="1w"> <a name="3021185164041374289"></a> <h7><b>Friday, July 25, 2008</h7></b> <br><div style="clear:both;"></div><span style="font-family:arial;"><strong><u>I think I'm starting to recover the strength of Kaiqin of 10 yrs ago....</u></strong><br /><br />I have since join the teaching profession temporately recently while sorting out myself, buying some time to think what I wanna do for my life. I'm still a lost lamb resting under a shelter for a while before I can continue to move on, provided that I can see where I'm moving on then.<br /><br />Having a late start then a tedious rocky route after geting out of the school is really depressing and discouraging, esp setbacks after setbacks, I still need to face my own insufficients, failures and expectations of those around me. I can never denie that I feel very small when those around me are doing very well in their areas while i'm still floating around in choppy seas. I need to retrieve myself again, the old Kaiqin, in order to gain the strength to move on. I need to overcome the " Activation Energy"!<br /><br />A word to describe my first day of relief teaching: A BANG.<br /><br />Firstly, what greet me was a "bunch" of friendky relief teachers. Ya, they are kids waiting to enter uni. One of them even in Full PE attire if NYJC. Then I was given very minimal instructions by a teacher on MC via phone, and sent off for a full day schedule with just a timetable and a school map. Class started from 8am to 3pm, with just 1.5hr of break. And yes, I'm handling the level I fear most, the Primary 2s... And I think the total distant covered moving from class to class is maybe 2km, walking from 1 end of sch block to another and climbing up and down the stairs.<br /><br />Class management is never easy, esp for those who never have any training before. Believe this!<br />But I know I have to "grab" it the first 10 mins or never. With my "bits" of experience and skills learned when i was helping out in Polaris Junior, I know it's make it or break it. It's my first day, and I'm not going to feel lousy just like the First Days of my previous 3 jobs. I think I did make it, pretty coolly.<br /><br />--------------------------------------<br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">Side-Tracking a bit:</span> <span style="color:#000066;">Thinking back, all my FIRST days were cursed. From my first job to the third, I'm the lone ranger on all my first days, even to the case that I had to eat lunch ALONE! I had no seniors, no mentors assigned or volunteered to guide me. Even if there are newbies like me back then, it just never happen for me to get bonded enough with them to eat together. I just dun/cannot merge in. </span><br />---------------------------------------<br /><br />I DID manage to establish rapport and remember half the names of the class! And they were actually manageable!!!! Throughout the process, my inner self was actually very calm and cool. The confidence and self esteem, which once were unfamilar, seem to be coming back. Subconsciously, I will not allow myself to flop this time round.<br /><br />So far so gd, I'm actually pretty amazed and impressed with myself, for able to "manage the classes". Ha, yes, I did end up eating my lunch alone again this time, again.<br /><br />Positive thinking never works on site but positive attitude does. I just have to tell myself that I can handle all when stuff were thrown to me. And I did. It's not so difficult after all.....<br /><br />I think I'm on the route of self discovery and self therapy again....<br /><br />Yes, I know that i can get through the choppy seas like like 10 years ago . . .</span><div style="clear:both; padding-bottom:0.25em"></div> <br> <br><br> <center>|<a href="kaiqin18@gmail.com">琴</a>| <a href="2008/07/#3021185164041374289#3021185164041374289" onMouseOver="window.status='permanant link '; return true" onMouseOut="window.status=''; return true">25.7.08</a>| <br><br> </center></p> </div></div> <script language="JavaScript1.2"> /* Snow Effect Script Submitted by Altan d.o.o. 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