**A Chance of Sunshine...**<琴の私密日记> <style type="text/css"> body { font-family:Arial; font-size:11px; scrollbar-face-color: #E7E7E7; scrollbar-highlight-color: #FFFFFF; scrollbar-shadow-color: #EFEFEF; scrollbar-3dlight-color: #EFEFEF; scrollbar-arrow-color: #000000; scrollbar-track-color: #E7E7E7; scrollbar-darkshadow-color: #E7E7E7; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:normal } a:link { text-decoration:none; color:#666666; font-weight:bold; } a:visited { text-decoration:none; color:#999999; font-weight:bold; } a:hover { color: #E7E7E7; text-decoration:none; background: #999999; cursor: crosshair; } </style> <meta name='google-adsense-platform-account' content='ca-host-pub-1556223355139109'/> <meta name='google-adsense-platform-domain' content='blogspot.com'/> <style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head> <body bgcolor=white><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/27825234?origin\x3dhttp://simiriji.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script> <img style="position:absolute; top:-16; left:0" src="http://ourworld.cs.com/yamroll89/pic1.jpg" width="1024" height="768"> </font> <div style="position: absolute;overflow: auto;left:30; top:210; width:350; height:500; filter: Alpha(Opacity=60, FinishOpacity=100);background-color: ffffff"> <div class="1w"> <a name="8526973257136785298"></a> <h7><b>Monday, August 13, 2007</h7></b> <br><div style="clear:both;"></div><strong><span style="font-size:130%;color:#3333ff;">" You just dun let anyone do anything for you." - <span style="font-size:100%;"><em>A caring Indian Taxi Uncle</em></span></span></strong><br /><em></em><br />I was so tired, to a state that I can barely open my eyes when Taxi Uncle asked me which is my blk when he turned into my street... I heard him in my sleep, and struggled to talk. I'm in another concuss state again, maybe my body is really failing me, or my brain? I have to get out, if not, i'll totally lost control of my body when i'm concussed. This has been happening more frequently now, a state that I am conscious, yet my body is not. Forced-shut down, my body is rebeling me, after years of "mind over body" training.<br /><br />Can't remember what i had blabbered, besides giving the correct left-right directions. (I was soooo proud of myself tt i can still distinguish L & R then) When i'm still drifting in and out of my concuss state, i heard him asking me gently: You feeling alright? How u make urself so tired? How, can manage? Want me to send u up?<br /><br />What? Taxi Uncle was so sweet to offer to send me up to my unit!! I just brushed tt off : Aiya, dun need lah, i can managed.... Then i started to pinch and slap my cheeks to make myself drifted out of my concuss state (I think i looked like a 10 yr old girl. TT's my cute moments!) Taxi Uncle sounded a bit hurt, said: You just dun let anyone do anything for you." Using the only reflex i left, I shot back: Aiya, my dad is at home and he never even bothered to offer to pick me up...<br /><br />I was actually very touched, his voice was so gentle and caring, and I think this is the first time i'm taking his cab. My dad will never speak to me in tt manner, not in that tone, that's something i can be very sure.<br /><br />Maybe, he is right......<br />Unrealistic expectations always breed dissappointments, I have learn to have minimum expectations for others and myself, learn to be as independent and strong as possible, learn not to ask for help unless i'm drowning..... I have learn that if others treated me nicer, that's bonus because they have no obligation to!<br /><br /><br /><strong>"通常呢，太坚强的女人没有人理，太软弱的女人呢就该死，最难得的是坚强的女人也有软弱的一面，这样的女人呢，就有很多人会想疼爱。"</strong> <em>- 水上漂 Superstar Judge on 触摸 by Carrie</em> Yang. <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=WmffaHzTGq4"><span style="font-size:78%;">http://youtube.com/watch?v=WmffaHzTGq4</span></a><br /><br /><br />I'm always nice, always wanting to help, since young. That's my supply dosage of happiness. But sometimes, you get hurt because you are way too nice, and when people has no qualms to take advantage of you for their own benefit though they know they will hurt you in the process. I had withdrawn myself for a few years, nursing wounds and picking myself up......<br /><br />Now, I'm learning how to be appreciative and how to express my appreciation. I'm learning how to give unselfishly, how to care unconditionaly once again, to the people that i think deserves me. I have succeed in improving expressing myself and the art of communication this past 2 years. Maybe I should learn how to accept love and kindness graciously too...... I'm in the process, thanks to all my friends, who showered me lots of love, care and concern when I'm down. They make me feel contended once again, make me feel that I deserve all of these. I'm so grateful, that till today, I still have a good heart to care and to love and never allow myself to have the intention to hurt anyone.<br /><br />For those who has seen the spiteful side of me: I never bothered to even hide my flaws, because you guys are drearest to me......<div style="clear:both; padding-bottom:0.25em"></div> <br> <br><br> <center>|<a href="kaiqin18@gmail.com">琴</a>| <a href="2007/08/#8526973257136785298#8526973257136785298" onMouseOver="window.status='permanant link '; return true" onMouseOut="window.status=''; return true">13.8.07</a>| <br><br> </center></p> </div></div> <script language="JavaScript1.2"> /* Snow Effect Script Submitted by Altan d.o.o. 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